Men "can't live with them can't live without them"

15 PIECES OF ADVICE TO BE PASSED ON TO YOUR MUM, YOUR DAUGHTERS OR GRANDDAUGHTERS, NIECES, AUNTS, GIRLFRIENDS, ETC.

1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in nappies.
2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.
3. If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up there.
4. Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone.
5. Go for the younger man. You might as well, they never mature anyway.
6. Men are all the same - they just have different faces, so that you can tell them apart.
7. Definition of a bachelor: a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.
8. Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself types.
9. Best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he is too old for it.
10. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
11. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.
12. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years.
Even
in Biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions.
13. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him cheque books.
14. Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means that you laugh at his.
15. Sadly, all men are created equal.

A lil something 4 de ladies-Ethan Hawke

Biography

Ethan Green Hawke is an American actor, writer and film director.Born in Austin, Texas to James Steven Hawke and Leslie Carole Green, Hawke moved to Princeton, New Jersey at an early age, where he took acting classes at the McCarter Theatre. He first appeared in various high school performances, e.g. in George Bernard Shaw’s Saint Joan.At the age of fourteen he made his feature film debut in Explorers (1985). Afterward, Hawke studied acting at the British Theatre Association in England and at Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh. He has twice enrolled in New York University's English program and is one of the founding fathers and artistic director of Malaparte, a New York City theatre company (productions included A Joke!; Wild Dogs; Good Evening; Sons and Fathers; It Changes Every Year; Veins and Thumbtacks; Hesh; and The Great Unwashed)In 1988, Hawke was offered a role in Peter Weir’s Dead Poets Society and his part as Todd Anderson was his breakthrough. He left school and appeared in A Midnight Clear, Alive, Reality Bites, Before Sunrise, Gattaca, The Newton Boys, Great Expectations and many other movies. In 2001 he was nominated for an Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor in Training Day.Hawke has recently directed Chelsea Walls and has written two novels, The Hottest State (1996) and Ash Wednesday (2002).On May 1, 1998 he married actress Uma Thurman with whom he has two children, daughter Maya Ray (born July 8, 1998) and son Levon Roan (born January 15, 2002). They separated in 2004 amid tabloid rumours his infidelity with an unknown woman. In 2005, along with his co-writers (Richard Linklater and Julie Delpy), he received his first screenwriting Oscar nomination for Before Sunset (a sequel to Before Sunrise).Hawke owns a small island off the coast of Nova Scotia. This land was purchased before his divorce from Uma Thurman as a family retreat.Despite not having a mainstream "hit" movie since Training Day, Hawke is still mentioned frequently in tabloid newspapers. Photos are commonly snapped of him going about his life in New York City.

Other Information

Attended West Windsor-Plainsboro High School in Central New Jersey, but is not pictured in the yearbook (1984-86).Daughter, with Uma Thurman, Maya Ray Thurman-Hawke. [8 July 1998]Graduated from the Hun School of Princeton. [1988]Published his first novel, "The Hottest State," in 1996 (the novel sold for $400,000 to Little, Brown and Company).Was in a production of "Great Expectations" at West Windsor Plainsboro High School.Was accepted by Carnegie-Mellon University, School of Drama in Pittsburgh, PA, but dropped out after only 5 months.Proposed to wife Uma Thurman twice before she said yes.His brother is a Green Beret.Welcomed second child, Roan, a boy on January 15, 2002. The baby weighed 7lbs 15oz.Childhood friend of director Bryan Singer (_The Usual Suspects_ ; X-Men (2000))The cat appearing in the Lisa Loeb music-video "Stay", which he directed, is his own.Has appeared in two film adaptations of William Wharton novels: Dad (1989) and A Midnight Clear (1992).He was the original choice to play FBI Agent Will Graham in Red Dragon (2002), but turned the role down to take time off from making movies.His parents were University of Texas students when Ethan was born, and they separated when he was three.Says that he is constantly mistaken for Mark McGrath from "Sugar Ray" so often that he signs autographs as "Mark McGrath" and, apparently, the same thing happens to Mark McGrath who, in turn, signs autographs as "Ethan Hawke" to fans.Met and became friends with River Phoenix during the making of Explorers (1985).When he was in the seventh grade, he played "Lon" in West Windsor-Plainsboro junior high school production of the play "Meet Me in St. Louis".Remains close friends with Dead Poets Society (1989) co-stars, Robert Sean Leonard and Josh Charles.Attended the Packer Collegiate Institute in Brooklyn, New York for one year.First cousin twice removed of Tennessee Williams. Hawke's great grandfather and Williams' father were brothers.Is close friends with actor/director Frank Whaley, whom he met while filming A Midnight Clear (1992).On father's day 2004 he went to a Yankees game with his kidsIs a big fan of the Star Wars movie series

Babalaas Monday...

1.Youngest son: Tell me Daddy, what is the difference between "potentially and reality"?Dad: I will show you.Dad turns to his wife and asks her,
"Would you sleep with Robert Redford for 1 million dollars"?Wife: Yes of course! I would never waste such an opportunity!Then Dad asks his daughter if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for 1 million dollars?Daughter: Wow! Yes! This is my fantasy!Dad turns to his elder son and asks him,
"Would you sleep with Tom Cruise for 1 million dollars"?Elder son: Yeah! Why not? Imagine what I could do with 1 million dollars!
I would not even hesitate!So the father turns back to his younger son saying: "You see son, 'potentially' we are sitting on 3 million dollars, but in 'reality' we are living with two hookers and a moffie!"

2.A man escapes from prison, where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns, and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair. While tying the girl to the bed, he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
While he's in there, the husband tells his wife : "Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you.
Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."
His wife responds, "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!"