Babalaas Monday...

1.An elderly man walks into a confessional.The following conversation ensues:Man: "I am 92 years old, have a wonderful wife of 70 years, manychildren, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. Yesterday, I picked uptwocollege girls, hitchhiking. We went to a motel,where I had sexwith each of them three times."Priest: "Are you sorry for your sins?"Man: "What sins?"Priest: "What kind of a Catholic are you?"Man: "I'm Jewish."Priest: "Why are you telling me all this?"Man: "I'm 92 years old .... I'm telling everybody."

2.Put yourself in the teacher's position and think about what would you say after hearing this.

In a second grade class, a little girl asks, Teacher, can my

Mommy get pregnant? How old is your mother, dear? asks the teacher.

Forty. she replies.
Yes, dear, your mother could get pregnant.
The little girl then asks, Can my big sister get pregnant?
Well, dear, how old is your sister?
The little girl answers, Nineteen.

Oh yes, dear, your sister certainly could get pregnant.

The little girl then asks, Can I get pregnant?

How old are you, dear?

The little girl answers, I'm seven years old.
No, dear, you can't get pregnant...
Then, the little boy behind the little girl gives her a poke
and says,
See, I told you we had nothing to worry about.

3.An Afrikaner guy, an Indian guy, a beautiful girl and an old woman areSitting in a train.The train suddenly goes through a tunnel and it gets completely dark.Suddenly there is a kissing sound and then a slap!The train comes out of the tunnel.The old woman, beautiful girl and the Indian guy are sitting therelooking perplexed. The Indian guy is bent over holding his face, whichis red from an apparent slap.The old woman is thinking: "That Indian guy must have tried to kiss thatgirl and got slapped."The Indian guy is thinking: "Damn it, that Afrikaner guy must have triedto kiss the beautiful girl. She thought it was me and slapped meinstead."The beautiful girl is thinking: "That Indian guy must have moved to kissme, but kissed the old lady instead and got slapped."The Afrikaner guy is thinking: "If this train goes through anothertunnel, I could make another kissing sound and moer that Indian guyagain!"

4.Gammatjie and Abdoltjie locked the car in a hurry, forgetting to remove the key, which was in the ignition. Realizing the mistake, Abdoltjie asked, "Why don't we get a coat hanger to open it." "No, that won't work" answered Gammatjie. "People will think we're trying to break in." So Abdoltjie suggested, "What if we use a pocket knife to cut around the rubber, then stick a finger in and pull up the lock?" "No," said Gammatjie. "People will think we're too dumb to use a coat hanger."
"Well," sighed Abdoltjie, "we'd better think of something fast. It's starting to rain, and the sun roof is open!"

5.> Sipho kom by die hemel en sien hy is innie kak want alles is WIT. Die
>
> Mense is WIT, die engele is WIT, die wolke is WIT.
> Petrus vra vir Sipho: Wat's jou naam?
> Sipho dink vinnig en antwoord: Leonardo De Caprio !
>
> Petrus lyk confused en roep vir Moses nader en vra hom:" Moses, het
> die fokken Titanic gebrand of gesink?