Babalaas Monday...

1.On their honeymoon, the blonde bride slipped into a sexy nightie and with great anticipation, crawled into bed, only to find that her new Catholic husband had settled down on the couch.When she asked him why he was apparently not going to make love to her, he replied, "It's Lent." In tears, she remarked, "Well, that is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard! Who did you lend it to, and for how long?"

2.A old Woman, 70, decided that was time to get married again. She put an ad in the local newspaper that read: HUSBAND WANTED: MUST BE IN MY AGE GROUP (70's), MUST NOT BEAT ME, MUST NOT RUN AROUND ON ME, AND MUST STILL BE GOOD IN BED! ALL APPLICANTS PLEASE APPLY IN PERSON. On the second day she heard the doorbell. Much to her dismay, she opened the door to see a gray-haired gentleman sitting in a wheel chair. He had no arms or legs. "You're not really asking me to consider you, are you?" the widow said. "Just look at you! You have no legs!" The old gentleman smiled, "Therefore, I cannot run around on you!" "You don't have any arms either!" she snorted. Again, the old man smiled, "Therefore, I can never beat you!" She raised an eyebrow and asked intently, "Are you still good in bed??" The old man leaned back, beamed a big smile and said, "I rang the doorbell, didn't I?" The wedding is scheduled for Saturday...

3.A guy walks into a bar and notices a very large jar on The counter and sees it's filled with $10 bills Man guesses there must be thousands of dollars in it! He approaches the bartender and asks, "What's up with the jar?" "Well... you pay ten dollars... and IF you pass three tests you get all the money!!!" The man certainly isn't going to pass this up! "What are the three tests?" "Pay FIRST..." says the bartender... "Those are the rules." So the man give him the $10 and the bartender drops it into the jar... OK," the bartender says, "here's what you need to do... FIRST: You have to drink that ENTIRE GALLON of pepper tequila the WHOLE thing, all at ONCE... and you CAN'T make a face while doing it... SECOND: There's a pit bull chained-up out back with a sore tooth...You have to REMOVE the tooth with your BARE HANDS... THIRD: There's a 90 year-old woman upstairs who has NEVER reached orgazm during intercourse.. You've gotta MAKE THINGS RIGHT for her." The man is stunned... "I KNOW I paid my 10 bucks... but I'm not an IDIOT! I WON'T DO IT!!! You have to be NUTS to drink a gallon of pepper tequila, and then do those OTHER THINGS!!!" Your call," says the bartender, "but your MONEY stays where it is.." The man has a few drinks... then a few more... Finally...he asks, "WHERRRRE'S ZAAAT TEQUIIIILA?!" He grabs the gallon with both hands and downs it with a big slurp...Tears are streaming down both cheeks, but he doesn't make a face... Next... he staggers out back where the pit bull is chained-up... The people inside the bar hear a HUGE, NOISY SCUFFLE going on outside.. They hear the pit bull barking... the guy screaming... the pit bull yelping... and then SILENCE. Just when they think the man SURELY must be dead, he staggers back into the bar .. with his shirt ripped... and large, bloody scratches all over his body... "NOW......." he says. WHERES THE OLD WOMAN WITH THE SORE TOOTH?!?!?!"

4.The truth has a funny way of coming out!A married man was visiting his girlfriend one day, when she requestedthat he shave his beard."Oh, James, I like your beard, but I would really like to see yourhandsome face."James replied, "My wife loves this beard, I couldn't possibly do it.Shewould kill me!""Oh, please?" the girlfriend asked again in a sexy little voice."Really, I can't," he replied. "My wife loves this beard!"The girlfriend asked once more, and he sighed and finally gave in.That night, James crawled into bed with his wife while she wassleeping..The wife woke up somewhat, felt his face, and replied "Oh, Michael,youshouldn't be here. My husband will be home soon!"

5.
A blonde woman was having financial troubles so she decided to kidnap a
child and demand a ransom.

She went to a local park, grabbed a little boy, took him behind a tree
and wrote a note.

"I have kidnapped your child. I am sorry to do this but I need the money.
Leave $10,000 in a plain brown bag behind the big oak tree in the park at
7AM."
Signed,
"The Blonde."

She pinned the note inside the little boy's jacket and told him to go
straight home.

The next morning, she returned to the park to find the $10,000 in a
brown bag behind the big oak tree, just as she had instructed.


Inside the bag with the cash was the following note. "Here is your
money. I cannot believe that one blonde would do this to another."

Thirsty Thursday-Carmen Electra

Biography forCarmen Electra

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Date of Birth20 April 1972, Sharonville, Ohio, USA

Birth NameTara Leigh Patrick

Height5' 3" (1.60 m)

Mini Biography
Carmen Electra grew up near Cincinnati, Ohio, in the town of White Oak and got her first boost when a scout for Prince spotted her fronting for a rap group in Los Angeles. She released a self-titled album for Prince's Paisley Park label in 1992. Starting March 1997, she appears in cartoon form as the model for a character who's a singer and a vampire ("but a good vampire", says her publicist) in a comic book series called Embra.IMDb Mini Biography By: Gustaf Molin

Spouse
David M. Navarro
(22 November 2003 - 20 February 2007) (divorced)
Dennis Rodman
(14 November 1998 - 6 April 1999) (divorced)

Trivia
Her heritage is Irish, German, and Cherokee.
Attended Princeton High School in the Cincinnati suburb of Sharonville (class of 1990).
Originally signed by Prince's Paisley Park record label as a hot young talent. She had moderate success with a single named "Go-Go Dancer"
Is the youngest of five children in her family.
Was a dancer at Kings Island Amusement Park in Ohio.
Worked with Prince on her self-titled debut album that was released in 1993.
Was ranked 10th of the 100 Sexiest Women by FHM Taiwan (2001).
Hosted VH1's 100 Greatests Artists of Hard Rock
Appears on the cover of the April 2003 issue of Playboy magazine, with a nude pictorial inside. Howard Stern gave the layout a thumbs up, and commented that she looked better today than she did 10 years ago.
On the "The New Tom Green Show" (2003) she announced that she was planning to make a strip aerobics video.
Measurements: 36C-23-35 (Source: Celebrity Sleuth magazine)
Engaged to musician David M. Navarro. [August 2001]
Appears in Moby's music video "We Are All Made Of Stars"
Attended high school with Nick Lachey from 98 Degrees.
One of her favorite films is Showgirls (1995).
Attended the School of Creative and Performing Arts in Cincinnati, Ohio.
She married Dennis Rodman in the "Chapel of the Flowers" in Las Vegas, Nevada.
Ranked #59 in Stuff magazine's "102 Sexiest Women In The World" (2002)
Member of the infamous dancing show "The Pussycat Dolls"
Was discovered by Prince by the age of 18
In her November 2003 wedding to David M. Navarro, she wore a strapless beaded Badgley Mischka gown.
Named #18 in FHM's "100 Sexiest Women in the World 2005" special supplement. (2005)
Among the guest at her wedding to David M. Navarro were Traci Bingham, Kelly Osbourne and Jack Osbourne

Met her ex-husband David M. Navarro on a blind date.
Named #9 in FHM magazine's "100 Sexiest Women in the World 2006" supplement. (2006).
September 2004: Voted the Sexiest Woman Of The Year by FHM Magazine. In second place was Australian pop princess Kylie Minogue.
Attended the School for Creative and Performing Arts in Cincinnati, Ohio, USA. She was an older classmate of Nich Lachey.
Attended the School for Creative and Performing Arts in Cincinnati, Ohio, USA. She was an older classmate of Nick Lachey.
Has appeared in four movie with the word "movie in the title. Scary Movie (2000), Date Movie (2006), Scary Movie 4 (2006) and Epic Movie (2007).

Personal Quotes
"I was watching an HBO special the other night on real-life maximum-security-prison guys. I glanced up, and my poster was in quite a few cells. I was screaming 'Oh, no!'"
"I never had my own name on a bathing suit on "Baywatch" (1989). I was always given one that said Pamela or Yasmine. I earned my own suit, at the end of the season, which I now have framed."
"Is there a rehab center for Coke drinkers? I drink six to eight cans a day."
"She had on this white fur coat, her hair down, and her eyes pierced my heart from 20 feet away. The first thing I did was buy her 1,200 pairs of sunglasses to cover up those eyes. I couldn't risk anyone else having the same reaction." -- fiancé David M. Navarro (Jane's Addiction, Red Hot Chili Peppers) on when he first saw her.
[On her engagement to rocker David M. Navarro]: "We met on November 10th, so the 10th of every month we go out to dinner and we make a big event out of it. We have this digital camera that Miramax gave me during a movie. And we took pictures all over -- we travel everywhere together. Usually, I'm just the girl and I bring out the camera, 'Baby, come on, lets look'. And he's like [rolls eyes] 'Ok Babe' -- It's kinda boring to him. This night, he brought out the camera and we were looking at the pictures together. And he was down on one knee the whole time and I wasn't even aware of that, because he was on the edge of the bed. And the very last picture was him holding up the ring. And then he proposed to me. We cried -- I said 'Yes', and we spent five hours just staring into each others eyes. It was really sweet. He's a good guy. Well, maybe a little more than just staring..." -- Carmen on "The Late Late Show with Craig Kilborn" (1999).
"There's something about male strippers, it's a little corny for me. Most of my girlfriends would rather have a lapdance by a girl - I just think they're much sexier in that type of situation."
[Being asked about a crazy fourth of July event]: "We were in the Hamptons, and we stayed at some castle, and everyone was partying. They were playing music super loud nonstop. I didn't get any sleep all weekend - you couldn't sleep if you wanted to. So after all the other parties were over, everyone came back to the castle. I convinced everyone to take their clothes off and jump in the pool. Except me. I stood there with my clothes on."

Babalaas Monday...

1.A man and a woman were sitting beside each other in the first classsection of an airplane. The woman sneezed, took out a tissue, gentlywiped her nose, then visibly shuddered for ten to fifteen seconds.The man went back to his reading. A few minutes later, the woman sneezedagain, took a tissue, wiped her nose, and then shuddered violently oncemore. Assuming that the woman might have a cold, the man was stillcurious about the shuddering. A few more minutes passed when the woman sneezed yet again. As beforeshe took a tissue, wiped her nose, her body shaking even more thanbefore. Unable to restrain his curiosity, the man turned to the woman and said,"I couldn't help but notice that you've sneezed three times, wiped yournose and then shuddered violently. Are you OK?" "I am so sorry if I disturbed you, I have a very rare medical condition;whenever I sneeze I have an orgasm." The man, more than a bit embarrassed, was still curious. "I have neverheard of that condition before" he said. "Are you taking anything forit?" The woman nodded, "Pepper."

2.Three tortoises: Mick, Andy and Roy, decide to go on a picnic.Mick packs the picnic basket with beer and sandwiches. The trouble isthat the picnic site is ten miles away so it takes them ten days toget there.When they get there Mick unpacks the food and beer. "Ok Roy give methe bottle opener""I didn't bring it" says Roy. "I thought you packed it"Mick gets worried. He turns to Andy, "Did you bring the bottleopener?"Naturally Andy didn't bring it.So they're stuck ten miles from home without a bottle opener. Mickand Andy beg Roy to go back for it, but he refuses as he says theywill eat all the sandwiches.After two hours, and after they have sworn on their tortoise livesthat they will not eat the sandwiches, he finally agrees.So Roy sets off down the road at a steady pace. 20 days pass and hestill isn't back and Mick and Andy are starving, but a promise is apromise.Another 5 days and he still isn't back, but a promise is a promise.Finally they can't take it any longer so they take out a sandwicheach, and just as they are about to eat it, Roy pops up from behind arock and shouts,"I KNEW IT'......I'M NOT F*CKING GOING!"

3.A serial killer broke into a house and confronted a frightened couple."What are ur names? I like to know my victims' names before I kill them" he demanded.The woman said "My name is Elizabeth.""I won't kill you because my mother's name is Elizabeth" he answered.He turned to the terrified man and said, "Wena what's ur name?""I'm Peter but my friends call me Elizabeth" he replied.