Babalaas Monday...

1.A girl came skipping home from school one day. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, " we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9. 10! "Very good," said her mother. " Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?" "Yes, It's because you're blonde." The next day the girl came skipping home from school. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, ' we were saying the alphabet today and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A, B , C , D, E , F , G!" "Very good," said her mother. "Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?" "Yes, It's because you're blonde" "The next day the girl came skipping home from school. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled " we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls have flat chests, but I have these!" And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36cs. "Very good," said her embarrassed mother. "Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?" "No, honey. It's because you're 24!"

2. As A Mom Passes Her Daughter's Closed Bedroom Door, She Heard A Strange
Buzzing Noise Coming from Within. Opening The Door, She Observed Her
Daughter Giving Herself
A Real Workout With AVibrator.

Shocked, She Asked: what In The World Are You Doing?"
The Daughter Replied: "mom, I'm Thirty-five Years Old,
Unmarried, And This Thing Is About As Close As I'll Ever Get To A
Husband!
Please, Go Away And Leave Me Alone."

The Next Day, The Girl's Father Heard The Same Buzz Coming From The
Other
Side Of The Closed Bedroom Door. Upon Entering The Room, He Observed His

Daughter Making Passionate Love To Her Vibrator. To His Query As To What
She
Was Doing,

The Daughter Said: "dad I'm Thirty-five, Unmarried, And This Thing Is
About
As Close As I'll Ever Get To A Husband. Please, Go Away And Leave Me
Alone."

A Couple Days Later, Mom Came Home From A Shopping Trip, Placed The
Groceries On The Kitchen Counter, And Heard That Buzzing Noise Coming
From,
Of All Places,
The Living Room. She Entered That Area And Observed Her Husband Sitting
On
The Couch,
Downing A Cold Beer, And Staring At The Tv.The Vibrator Was Next To Him
On
The Couch,

Buzzing Like Crazy.

The Wife Asked: "what The Hell Are You Doing?"

The Husband Replied: "I'm Watching Football With My Son-in-law."

3.Queen Elizabeth, Bill Clinton and Rob Mugabe die and go to hell. Butthe devil has only one phone there.Queen says, I miss my England may I use your phone to hear how mypeople are doing up there.She calls and talks about five minutes. Then she asks: Well devil, howmuch do I owe you for the call? The devil says: Five million dollars.She writes him a cheque and goes back to her chair.Clinton wants to make a call too. He says I want to call the USA. Hetalks about ten minutes, then asks how much do I owe you devil? The devilsays Ten million dollars He also writes a cheque and goes back to his seat.Mugabe is now very jealous. He says I want to call Zim, He calls and talks forabout an hour ... then he asks the devil how much do I owe you? Thedevil replies: only one dollar, Mugabe is shocked and asks "why solittle?" The devils says: if you make a call from one hell to another, it's alocal call...