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Thursday, December 21, 2006

Playa's Guide...........


KEEPIN' IT TIGHT
Entity lives by one of many quotes: "Tightness is a virtue". Use this quote as your guide into the realm of everlasting tightness, for it is a blessing. Everyday we must struggle to keep it tight, no matter what it takes. Some of us are given the gift of tightness at birth. Others must aquire it. Whatever the case, get it tight, or forever dwell in deepest, darkest, hell of "un-tightness". You don't wanna be there. It ain't pretty. Let entity show you some of her favorite gateways to the glory. Use with care, my children.
CHAPTER 1 The rewards of tightness.
CHAPTER 2 How to get it tight. Style.
CHAPTER 3 Pursuit of everlasting tightness. Keepin' it tight.
CHAPTER 4 How to set the playa's mood. Strategies for success.
PLAYA'S COMMANDMENTS: 1, 2 ,3&4
CHAPTER 1-The rewards of tightness. The benefits of tightness are invaluable: Mad game, gear, props, envy, and monetary savings. Believe it. It's for real. So, go ahead- reap the rewards of being a playa. Besides, tightness gives you an excuse to be cocky. What more could you want?
PLAYA'S COMMANDMENT #1: "Tightness is a virtue."
CHAPTER 2- How to get it tight. Style.
Scent:
There are many places to begin, but hygiene is definitely number 1 on entity's list. Always be fresh and smelling good. Some of entity's favorite perfumes are Tommy Girl Cologne, Nautica woman, and a host of others. If you are a guy, Tommy or Coolwater will do just fine. Use what works for you, but never too much. Overkill can minimize tightness. Don't over-exert your effort for tightness. Gear:
Always keep a neat appearance. Remember- IRONING BOARDS ARE YOUR FRIEND! Realize that you can never dwell in the land of the tight, if your gear is wrinkled. Also, make your best effort to be coordinated. Playa' s always match. Use your best judgement.

For those with expensive taste. Don't get carried away. Yo ass will be broke.

Recall that you have never seen a playa with dirty shoes on. Make sure your feet are nice-n-neat! Understand that entity is not saying you have to wear brand new Lacoste's. Whatever you have, keep it looking crisp and clean. It's not a bad thing to invest in new shoe-strings either. They work wonders for shoes. Kiwi sneaker white, shampoo, and protectant are definite tools to renew kicks that may be a little older. For those Rockport and Timberland players, shoe polish can go a long way to restoring original luster. Save money, and keep it tight.
Jewelry:
Overkill is a big anti-tightness movement. You don't have to have a 10 inch thick herringbone to be tight. Keep it simple, with just enough to accent what you got. Watches are cool, but avoid Guess. They are cute, but it's hell finding a replacement battery. Don't let 'em stick you for your papers.
The ride:
Whatever you do, keep your ghetto-sled clean and shining! The ride has to be clean! We all know that everybody doesn't have a Lexus, but it's all about taking care of what you have. Avoid Burger King bags scattered about the ride. If you smoke, don't do it in the ride. That shit will wreak like Debo's draws! If you choose to use air freshener, stick to subtle odors. Use what scent pleases you. I prefer to have a neutral smell in the car, so I spray the interior ever so often with a generic "Odor Gun". Oh, and don't put 3 Crowns in your back window. That spells out one thing-Yo ride stinks like shit!
To keep the outside looking cool, a little wax and Armor All goes a long way. An easier way to go is "Black Magic" tire spray. It make your tires shine like new money. Just spray that shit on the tires, wait 2 minutes, and ride! I wash the rinse (or wash) the ride once a week. Usually, I just have dust on it, so a rinse is suitable. Oh, and have adequate sounds in the ride. Don't have a whack sound system. That ain't tight.
PLAYA'S COMMANDMENT #2:
"I shall always have a copy of "JOE-ALL THAT I AM" in the ride."
CHAPTER 3 -Pursuit of Everlasting Tightness
Alright... Now don't go getting yo'self tight for one day and then give up on the cause! Tightness has to be perpetual to be effective. Follow the guidelines everyday to achieve the higher level- "the glow of tightness". Once you reach this level, you can forever be tight, with the power to make fashion statements of your own. You will be able to define tightness as you wish, and others will automatically deem yo tight ass the "tight-playa". Remember, that it will take a lot of discipline to achieve this hiatus. One must practice diligently to achieve perfection. Note the following :
PLAYA'S COMMANDMENT #3: "World class athletes practice, practice, practice. World class playa's practice, practice, practice." Get it tight, and keep it tight.
CHAPTER 4 -How to set the playa's mood. Tips for success.
Now that you have sucessfully achieved tightness, you need to establish yo player status. In order to do this, you need to be able to easily set the playa's mood, if you know what I mean. The following is designed to give you some ideas. Be creative, but remember not to f*ck up! You are representing "tight ass playa's around the world". Don't ruin the legacy. That would be bad.
This is all you need:
CD or movie of choice:
Joe- All That I Am
Kenny Lattimore- Self Titled
Relaxing Sax- Generic Artist (Get that shit at Target!) or...
Obtain a bootleg copy of "Love Jones" from the "D".
Beverage:
Chardonnay or White Zinfandel
(Don't select Bartles & James. YUCK!)
(Whatever your preference.) Don't f*ck up by providing a 40 ounce of magnum. IT-DON'T-WORK, wit yo ghetto ass!
Lighting:
Keep it dim. Up-lights are great for effect. Use them sparingly. Over kill is bad.
Keepin it real:
Don't use some lame-ass line. Be creative, but keep it real. If you stumble upon hard times, use the following generic strategy: Quote Joe.
If you use these tips collaboratively, you will definitely set the ultimate playa's mood.

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